my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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