hotel room ftw
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Green mimosas i think yes
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Bring me that man meat
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
