dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize