shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
