Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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