You're completely useless in the revolution.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize