i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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