why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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