hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
barbara walters just said penis...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
