hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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