okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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