Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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