New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
