Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
