But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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