dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
