What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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