Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize