if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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