so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
