Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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