Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
