Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
