Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
