So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
