this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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