I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
