His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
