At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
