there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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