I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
