I feel great
I just peed on a car
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
