You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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