Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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