Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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