You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
