who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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