Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
