I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My pussy is not your playground.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
