Well apparently he's into motor boating.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
