You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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