Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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