I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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