Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
