No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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