dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My pussy is not your playground.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
