I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
