I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
