I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
