Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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