Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
