We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
