I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
