is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
