I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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