Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
