Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
