Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
