Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
