i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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