Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
