i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
