i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
