ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize