"it" just moved
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
