I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
