I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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