real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
